I think accountability, the act of being responsible for self, is a practice and depending on where we start and how well we know ourselves, it’s a process.
According to Brene Brown accountability is connected to courage. She explains since accountability opposes blame, we can see how not having accountability can keep us in a victimhood state of mind. One that paralyzes us and keeps us in shame without being able to move forward and find resolution.
I’ve gone through this myself and with many of my clients. Accountability is hard and most of the time we need someone to walk us through it if we’re not sure where to start.
The most uncomfortable part is finding the courage to be honest with yourself about what is or isn’t working. I’ve been in denial about what’s not working more times than I can count. Sometimes it takes a little push from the people who care about me most, but when I can be honest with myself and begin to take steps toward what could work, I find my life shifts into alignment.
When you stop hustling and guessing you can begin to make decisions that are based on your values. When you give yourself space to slow down and to reflect then you’re better able to make decisions from a place of awareness rather than not.
Coming from this place of awareness is incredibly helpful in shaping a foundational plan that’s based on your values (not someone else’s)
You no longer have to guess, self criticize or get frustrated because things aren’t working. Instead you come from a place of knowing what works and what doesn’t so that you can start moving toward your goal.
But you’ll never know this unless you look at what you’re doing first.
You most likely will make mistakes, but it’s a learning process. If we can avoid attaching ourselves to the shame of messing up and instead realize that messing up is part of the process of learning, our experience can be way more impactful.
Moving forward with courage instead of shame and blame is the first step in holding yourself accountable and trusting yourself again.